On Death, Or, Why Do You Have So Many Skulls in Here

I thought today - All Souls Day, part of the Day of the Dead celebration - would be the perfect time to write this blog topic. More on why in a bit.

I do not hide my interest in the macabre - it's pretty clear in my choice of career aspirations, the things I wear, my apartment decor, and the interests I have. And yes, sometimes the odd things I say, which I'm sure my dear husband can attest to. While some may write me off as being weird or perhaps unloved as child, I enjoy when someone gives me a chance to explain. I'm really not that strange, when you consider you have a skull sitting right inside your head, and you, as well as I, and everyone on Earth, will die someday. Sorry to spoil the surprise.

I, and many others with similar interests, like to call myself "death positive". It does not mean we revel in the death of others or long for our own demise. It means, to me, simply that I accept death is a part of life, and instead of fearing it, I make it a goal to strive for what some would call, "a good death". (I give credit to hearing this term to Caitlin Doughty, founder of the Order of the Good Death.) Basically, to me having a "good death" would be when I am very old, after living a fulfilling life, passing peacefully at home whilst surrounded by loved ones, assured of what will happen to my body and my earthly possessions once I am gone. While we generally cannot chose when we will die, we can ensure as close to a "good death" as possible by living life to the fullest, so to speak - which I personally also include living a healthy lifestyle - and in more practical terms, having prepared the after-life necessities such as: what will happen to our bodies, what kind of funeral you'd like, if any, and to whom your earthly possessions should pass.

As a student of biology and psychology, death through these lenses also intrigues me. Learning about how complex life is, from the smallest unicellular organism, to the tallest, oldest trees in the forest, life on Earth is such a brilliant machine, constantly operating at every level even if we cannot see it. And the thing about life that is so fascinating to me, is that when it ends, as an organism dies, it becomes, literally, the fuel for more life to continue. Whether it is fed on by another creature or decays quietly into the ground, every bit of it is "recycled" back into new life (except in the case of embalming, which is another gripe for another day). And this has been going on and will continue long before and after humans. Which brings me to psychology - humans are, to our current knowledge, the only organisms that are consciously aware that we will die. The ways in which people deal (or not deal) with this information is so interesting to me. There are cultures that view death as moving on to an after-life in paradise, some who view it as an honor to die in some cases, and cultures where death is viewed as something evil such that they burn the hut of the deceased and all of his possessions within.

So what does this have to do with this blog, or my career? Well, because life is so very complex, it is also so very fragile, leading to a number of abnormalities and diseases and disorders that can disrupt it. I think studying these leads me to understand again how fragile this life is, and inspires me to live better and encourage others to do the same because of that. Not so creepy after all, is it?
One of my hopes for this blog and my life is to inspire others to see death as not so taboo or morbid as well. Which is not to say it isn't sad when a loved one passes. I just don't believe we should be in such denial that we do things like take extreme measures to lengthen one's life with medicine or machines, or once a person is no longer living, fill them with chemicals to stop the decay then seal them in an air tight box enclosed in a cement casing underground. Instead, on this day especially, take a moment to appreciate the relationship the Mexican culture has with the dead, taking a few days to celebrate the life of their loved ones with food and treats and music and joy.

Anyways, though this is a just a summary of my thoughts on death, hopefully that explains some things about me for you. And if it doesn't, I'd be happy to chat about it.


After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
- Albus Dumbledore


Learn more about the Day of the Dead celebration here: Dia los Muertos - A Primer

Personal Re-Branding

I have to say, even though I have left the social media career field, I do still enjoy social media. I mean, I wouldn't have spent years at jobs in social if I didn't have an underlying interest. And studying it did make good use of both my communications and psychology background.
In my first job out of college, I was interning at an online job board. As social media was still a budding phenomenon, in the blogs and resources we provided our job searchers we repeatedly stressed the importance of building an online "personal brand". It's a fact that people are going to search your name online, and of course you want them to find good things, and if you can control those things, even better. It's a lesson I have taken into my own "personal brand", and considering the amount of Googling I've done on interview candidates, I'd be willing to bet it has helped, or in the least not hurt, my chances of getting the interviews and jobs I've had since that internship. And I don't just believe this is an important strategy for advertising or marketing folks either. Everyone is being Googled nowadays - you can find a new dentist, interior designer, electrician, dog sitter, and everything in between online. Don't tell me you've never Googled the name of someone before you have met them!
In any case, as I slowly back my way out of one career an into the next, I think it makes sense for my social presence to follow accordingly. And hey, maybe also attract a few new readers. :)
So what this means for my pages is still in the works, but if you follow me anywhere online I will be (at least attempting, I do work two jobs and have to study for three classes) posting more items relevant to my intended fields. So if you wonder why there are pictures of weird diseases on my Pinterest or why I tweeted a death-positive article, now you know!

And because it's hard to find a Harry Potter quote about branding or social media, I figure a quote from the self-proclaimed expert of re-branding in the wizarding world would suffice:

"When I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I’d say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven’t they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" He glanced at the lightning scar on Harry’s forehead. “I know, I know — it’s not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have — but it’s a start, Harry, it’s a start.”
- Gilderoy Lockhart

When It Rains...

It pours, so to say. And in my case, hopefully just a nice pour enough to water the plants, not a torrential, devastating downpour.

So after finally figuring out the “what I’m going to do with my life!” part of being purposely funemployed (and also upon receiving my bill for fall classes, honestly), I decided it was time to get myself a job. I started applying to random places I thought would be fun to work at probably about a month or two ago, and to my complete lack of surprise, hadn’t gotten very many bites. I’m sure it’s the whole working-full-time-in-advertising bit of my resume that threw people for a loop, even if I had written a tell-all cover letter to accompany every application. But just as I started to get disheartened, a call from one of my favorite fabric and craft retail stores for an interview! And the same day, a message from a former coworker and friend inquiring about a position at her current agency. I figured I’d explain my situation and throw in a question about part time work just for the heck of it, and just like that I am helping her out part-time in social analytics (what I had been doing previously). I know, I know, it sounds like I’m the little puppy going back to the person that kicked them, but I assure you that is not the case! It’s a small agency and I’m only there two days a week in between classes. And obviously it’s more money than I could make at a retail job, let's be real.
Anyways, my interview at the store rolls around, and I’m offered that job too! I can do evenings and weekends there, and also earn myself a nice employee discount. Which could help me on another business endeavor… just a pipe-dream right now, so we'll see ;)

So there you have it – two jobs, three classes, and hopefully still enough time to enjoy things like, ya know, my husband, my dog, my friends & family! And I hope that this semester will be the only one this busy (until I start the PA program of course), since I’m sort of “front-loading” myself as far as pre-req classes go. But regardless, I could use your help sending good luck vibes my way :P

And PSA, please don’t kick puppies! Adopt, don’t shop. Rescue dogs are cuter anyway. Case in point, my sweet little rescue Ginny:

A photo posted by Samantha Etters (@sammaramma) on Aug 6, 2015 at 5:28pm PDT

Back to school, back to school...

So for most of my pre-reqs, I'm attending the local community college. As a student several years out of undergrad at a very large public school, it's been weird. But good, so far. I started with one class for this summer term so I could dip my toes back in the higher education swimming pool, Intro to Biology. The class itself is great - a good refresher, even though I was bummed to have to take it in the first place. I didn't have to take a college-level bio class since I scored myself a nice little 5 (out of 5) on AP Biology in high school. So just about everything we've learned I'm sitting there like, "oh yeah, I remember that." Making cell models out of Jell-O and candy really did pay off, I guess.

But what strikes me as the most interesting is the mix of people. There are about 40 people in the lecture, and I've learned so far the students are all across the board. Many seem to be students who regularly attend a public university, but are home for the summer sneaking in extra classes on the cheap. And there are several who are current students at the community college. Then there are a handful like me, older and going back to school, though some are much older. There are a few who I would estimate at being in their 40s, at least. To be honest, this made me feel pretty good. If they can go back to school at 40, I can at 26. Though, I do feel weird to look so young. I find myself wanting to talk to the older/returning student crowd, but because I look like I just graduated high school, I've got the undergrad kids talking to me. I know it sounds ridiculous to call them "kids" because they are only 8-6 years younger than me, but boy does that really make a difference. I got to talking to one classmate about music, and he specifically mentions liking he bands he liked in sixth grade. He names a few and I realize I was about to graduate high school when these bands were popular... 

I also have to say, this class really hammers home the importance of basic science education in our country, especially the stuff about your own body. From some of the questions people ask, I have to wonder, how did you get this far in life? A choice gem: when talking about body parts "leftover" by evolution, such as the appendix, a student asks about belly buttons. Instructor explains why yes it is still very important for the umbilical cord, etc etc. Second student asks, then why do boys have a belly button? And there's where my eyes widen in shock. Oh boy. Another question - why don't skulls have noses? I realize maybe the difference between cartilage and bone may not be common knowledge, but I still got a kick out of it. Can't you feel your nose is much softer than your skull?? Idk, let's at least thank their lucky stars they're being educated now.

Please kids, stay in school. :)


Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than what we are now, students. If they can do it, why not us? - Harry Potter

Pre-reqs are a b--ch

I guess this will be my first of hopefully not a lot "downer" posts. After looking into the PA program at Wayne State (my top choice) and attending an info session, I started doing my research on the pre-requisite courses I have to take. And I got really bummed out. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I had somehow duped myself into thinking it would be totally plausible to nail them all down in a year and be attending the program starting Fall 2016. But the only possible way I could do that is if I put myself through hell, cramming in as many credits as possible while also job shadowing and networking to get the required recommendation letters for my application. After some angry tears and a "get real" talk with myself, in my usual stress-induced-obsessively-organizational manner, I made an Excel spreadsheet detailing each and every pre-req, course number, and estimated term I can take each one, and seeing it mapped out and color-coded in front of me, finally accepted my fate. I can comfortably complete all pre-reqs (including two I hope I don't have to take but might not be able to get out of) and have plenty of time for job shadowing and maybe volunteering or getting a job at a hospital for extra experience.
I don't really know why I got so upset, and still feel upset sometimes; it comes and goes. I guess I just hoped I would be able to jump right in and get on with this new adventure, so the prospect of having to wait two years to even start the program makes me uneasy. I am excited, what can I say! But I think also just want to get back to working. Even though I am very very fortunate to be supported enough to not urgently need a job, there's still a part of me that feels almost guilty for being out of work. And there's also the difficultly of finding part-time work after you've been in the professional realm for several years. I also have to think about the four years this will take in total. Four years seems like such a long time! I have known my husband for four years. We had thought about moving out of Michigan within the next 2-3 years, but now having to stay for at least four seems like such a long time. And even though we are definitely, definitely not considering having kids any time soon, officially discussing waiting until after I complete the program has arisen a whole new issue. That one boggles me, because we probably would be waiting several years anyhow, but putting the timeline on it is just, gosh it's a weird feeling, especially as a woman. But that is a WHOLE other can of worms for a very different blog.
I think the point is, I am having to accept that I am at the very base of a mountain I have just decided to climb. Good grief, I hope I make it.

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on. 
- Albus Dumbledore

Why a Pathologist's Assistant?

So, the big question, arguably the most important to me right now, as the answer will be guiding the next few years as I tackle pre-reqs and applications, and my acceptance into a program could literally depend on it.
The short answer is, it just feels right. It sounds like a cool job. And interesting, challenging, and fitting for the kind of person I am.


For those of you unfamiliar with the profession, a pathologist's assistant is a bit akin to a physician's assistant in that they practice under a medical doctor or pathologist (also an MD), doing a lot of the hands-on work as an extension of the MD. Both are also master's degrees and require certification. A pathologist's assistant (from here on out abbreviated as a PA) is responsible for the gross examination of surgical specimens (such as biopsies, lab tests, etc) including preparing samples or slides for the pathologist, and also assisting with autopsies. The pathologist, as a board-certified physician, gives the final diagnosis, but the PA's work is integral in this process. And PAs are in high demand for a few reasons, including reducing costs, increasing efficacy, and decreased number of pathology residents, so it's also lucrative and well-paying.

Cool, huh? Maybe not to everyone - the idea of handling organs and tissues pieces probably sounds awful to most people, but throw me a pair of gloves and I'll touch anything. Seriously, I clean up after the dirtiest of animals volunteering at the local humane society. Never own a pet duck.
Anyways, I've always had an interest in the health sciences, likely due to my being raised by a nurse, my mom. Perhaps it was her dinner-time conversation topics that steeled my stomach for medical oddities. (If you know a nurse and have asked them how their day was over a meal, you know what I'm talking about.) My mom is probably also responsible for my zeal for education - over my lifetime she's gone from RN, to BSN, to NP (Nurse practitioner, a Master's degree), and currently she is finishing her final project to complete her Doctorate in nursing. I will also credit my dad, an engineer, for my knack for problem-solving - I have always enjoyed puzzles and problems, and for the last few years I have been working as an analyst. So it makes sense a PA would appeal to me, as a job in health care where finding the problem is the basic goal. And not just any problems, these are problems that can change a person's life, or death - is the mass benign? has all the tumor been removed? was the death natural or is foul play suspected?
Two other big pros - I don't have to treat (living) people, and I'll get to wear scrubs to work. :D

As I said, this is the most important question I have to keep in mind right now. At this moment I am planning on roughly 2 years of preparing to apply to programs, and upon acceptance, 2 years in the program. So with that long of a tunnel ahead of me, it is good to keep the end goal in mind, and keep walking forward.

And with that:
I'm going to keep going until I succeed — or die. -Harry Potter

Welcome, or Remembering to Turn on the Light

I've always wanted to write a blog; I'm a good writer and I enjoy it. But having come from the social media and marketing realm, I never thought I had a good enough idea for a blog that would be, ya know, "marketable" - keep eyes on the page and ad dollars in the pocket. So in a fitting mirror of my recent "to hell with it" quitting of my job in advertising, I'm saying "to hell with" writing a blog for anyone else. I'm writing this for me, as I go though this giant, scary, exciting change in my life. However, I do hope that this blog can be inspiring and maybe even motivational to others who may be like me three months ago, sitting in a cubicle hating not just their job, but their career prospects, their feeling of hopelessness, their lack of motivation to do something more, so you can get up and go to the edge of that cliff with so much fog you can't see what's at the bottom - and you jump. Because, as I know now, even though you can't see it now, there is a bottom and you will land on your feet.

Anyways, because I know you're all hanging by a thread, what is it that got me here? Well, I went to the University of Michigan with a vague idea of any real career aspirations, and spent four years going back and forth and all over the place - I considered journalism, psychiatry, medicine, environmental law, and probably a few other fleeting ideas - but eventually settled on a double major in communications and psychology, with a special focus on marketing and social psychology specifically. So I dutifully got an internship in marketing after graduation, and began my way on to a successful career in advertising. It was certainly fun and interesting at first, but I guess it was one of those things where the more I moved up and around and learned what it would be like to stay in the field, the more I wanted out. Now I can't say this for everyone in advertising, because I know there are people for whom it is very lucrative and they are truly happy, but for me, this was my experience: Firstly, the people - so. many. assholes. People with no regard for their employees, their inferiors or superiors, who only care about making themselves look good and advancing their own careers. And the unhappiness! If you're not an asshole, you're a stressed-out mess. I've never met so many people in one place so unhappy with their lives. The complaining especially - every time you go to lunch, go for drinks after work, or even are waiting for a meeting to begin - so much complaining. I would find myself doing the same thing - when I'd get home from work all I wanted to do was complain to my poor husband. Then he tells me about his job, which is also a recent career change, and he loves it - sure, he has small complaints here and there, but overall he enjoys going to work every day. I on the other hand can't keep track of how many times I cried on the drive home. When we'd hang out with his coworkers, they all talk about enjoying their jobs and if they complain about something they're problem solving and they're excited to meet tomorrow to figure it all out.
So, I can't say I had a light bulb moment, because it was more of a gradual brightening of said bulb - but I did eventually have the heart-to-heart with myself to ask, what the hell am I doing? Why I am still doing this? And two months ago, I made up my mind to quit. With no other plans concrete plans beyond that. I had been toying with the idea of going back to school for years, and was pretty set on going for nutrition to be a registered dietitian. So for the last two months I've been doing a combination of researching, soul-searching, and unapologetically enjoying doing nothing. Fast forward to now, yesterday was my first day of class, and I'm on my way to pursuing a career as a Pathologist's Assistant. It's radically different from where I began, but I truly believe it is a career I will enjoy. More on that for another blog.

So, there it is. I am glad to be able to share this journey with you, and I hope you enjoy it.

Until next time, a quote from my favorite series of literature:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore