Pre-reqs are a b--ch

I guess this will be my first of hopefully not a lot "downer" posts. After looking into the PA program at Wayne State (my top choice) and attending an info session, I started doing my research on the pre-requisite courses I have to take. And I got really bummed out. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I had somehow duped myself into thinking it would be totally plausible to nail them all down in a year and be attending the program starting Fall 2016. But the only possible way I could do that is if I put myself through hell, cramming in as many credits as possible while also job shadowing and networking to get the required recommendation letters for my application. After some angry tears and a "get real" talk with myself, in my usual stress-induced-obsessively-organizational manner, I made an Excel spreadsheet detailing each and every pre-req, course number, and estimated term I can take each one, and seeing it mapped out and color-coded in front of me, finally accepted my fate. I can comfortably complete all pre-reqs (including two I hope I don't have to take but might not be able to get out of) and have plenty of time for job shadowing and maybe volunteering or getting a job at a hospital for extra experience.
I don't really know why I got so upset, and still feel upset sometimes; it comes and goes. I guess I just hoped I would be able to jump right in and get on with this new adventure, so the prospect of having to wait two years to even start the program makes me uneasy. I am excited, what can I say! But I think also just want to get back to working. Even though I am very very fortunate to be supported enough to not urgently need a job, there's still a part of me that feels almost guilty for being out of work. And there's also the difficultly of finding part-time work after you've been in the professional realm for several years. I also have to think about the four years this will take in total. Four years seems like such a long time! I have known my husband for four years. We had thought about moving out of Michigan within the next 2-3 years, but now having to stay for at least four seems like such a long time. And even though we are definitely, definitely not considering having kids any time soon, officially discussing waiting until after I complete the program has arisen a whole new issue. That one boggles me, because we probably would be waiting several years anyhow, but putting the timeline on it is just, gosh it's a weird feeling, especially as a woman. But that is a WHOLE other can of worms for a very different blog.
I think the point is, I am having to accept that I am at the very base of a mountain I have just decided to climb. Good grief, I hope I make it.

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on. 
- Albus Dumbledore