Back to school, back to school...

So for most of my pre-reqs, I'm attending the local community college. As a student several years out of undergrad at a very large public school, it's been weird. But good, so far. I started with one class for this summer term so I could dip my toes back in the higher education swimming pool, Intro to Biology. The class itself is great - a good refresher, even though I was bummed to have to take it in the first place. I didn't have to take a college-level bio class since I scored myself a nice little 5 (out of 5) on AP Biology in high school. So just about everything we've learned I'm sitting there like, "oh yeah, I remember that." Making cell models out of Jell-O and candy really did pay off, I guess.

But what strikes me as the most interesting is the mix of people. There are about 40 people in the lecture, and I've learned so far the students are all across the board. Many seem to be students who regularly attend a public university, but are home for the summer sneaking in extra classes on the cheap. And there are several who are current students at the community college. Then there are a handful like me, older and going back to school, though some are much older. There are a few who I would estimate at being in their 40s, at least. To be honest, this made me feel pretty good. If they can go back to school at 40, I can at 26. Though, I do feel weird to look so young. I find myself wanting to talk to the older/returning student crowd, but because I look like I just graduated high school, I've got the undergrad kids talking to me. I know it sounds ridiculous to call them "kids" because they are only 8-6 years younger than me, but boy does that really make a difference. I got to talking to one classmate about music, and he specifically mentions liking he bands he liked in sixth grade. He names a few and I realize I was about to graduate high school when these bands were popular... 

I also have to say, this class really hammers home the importance of basic science education in our country, especially the stuff about your own body. From some of the questions people ask, I have to wonder, how did you get this far in life? A choice gem: when talking about body parts "leftover" by evolution, such as the appendix, a student asks about belly buttons. Instructor explains why yes it is still very important for the umbilical cord, etc etc. Second student asks, then why do boys have a belly button? And there's where my eyes widen in shock. Oh boy. Another question - why don't skulls have noses? I realize maybe the difference between cartilage and bone may not be common knowledge, but I still got a kick out of it. Can't you feel your nose is much softer than your skull?? Idk, let's at least thank their lucky stars they're being educated now.

Please kids, stay in school. :)


Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than what we are now, students. If they can do it, why not us? - Harry Potter

Pre-reqs are a b--ch

I guess this will be my first of hopefully not a lot "downer" posts. After looking into the PA program at Wayne State (my top choice) and attending an info session, I started doing my research on the pre-requisite courses I have to take. And I got really bummed out. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I had somehow duped myself into thinking it would be totally plausible to nail them all down in a year and be attending the program starting Fall 2016. But the only possible way I could do that is if I put myself through hell, cramming in as many credits as possible while also job shadowing and networking to get the required recommendation letters for my application. After some angry tears and a "get real" talk with myself, in my usual stress-induced-obsessively-organizational manner, I made an Excel spreadsheet detailing each and every pre-req, course number, and estimated term I can take each one, and seeing it mapped out and color-coded in front of me, finally accepted my fate. I can comfortably complete all pre-reqs (including two I hope I don't have to take but might not be able to get out of) and have plenty of time for job shadowing and maybe volunteering or getting a job at a hospital for extra experience.
I don't really know why I got so upset, and still feel upset sometimes; it comes and goes. I guess I just hoped I would be able to jump right in and get on with this new adventure, so the prospect of having to wait two years to even start the program makes me uneasy. I am excited, what can I say! But I think also just want to get back to working. Even though I am very very fortunate to be supported enough to not urgently need a job, there's still a part of me that feels almost guilty for being out of work. And there's also the difficultly of finding part-time work after you've been in the professional realm for several years. I also have to think about the four years this will take in total. Four years seems like such a long time! I have known my husband for four years. We had thought about moving out of Michigan within the next 2-3 years, but now having to stay for at least four seems like such a long time. And even though we are definitely, definitely not considering having kids any time soon, officially discussing waiting until after I complete the program has arisen a whole new issue. That one boggles me, because we probably would be waiting several years anyhow, but putting the timeline on it is just, gosh it's a weird feeling, especially as a woman. But that is a WHOLE other can of worms for a very different blog.
I think the point is, I am having to accept that I am at the very base of a mountain I have just decided to climb. Good grief, I hope I make it.

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on. 
- Albus Dumbledore

Why a Pathologist's Assistant?

So, the big question, arguably the most important to me right now, as the answer will be guiding the next few years as I tackle pre-reqs and applications, and my acceptance into a program could literally depend on it.
The short answer is, it just feels right. It sounds like a cool job. And interesting, challenging, and fitting for the kind of person I am.


For those of you unfamiliar with the profession, a pathologist's assistant is a bit akin to a physician's assistant in that they practice under a medical doctor or pathologist (also an MD), doing a lot of the hands-on work as an extension of the MD. Both are also master's degrees and require certification. A pathologist's assistant (from here on out abbreviated as a PA) is responsible for the gross examination of surgical specimens (such as biopsies, lab tests, etc) including preparing samples or slides for the pathologist, and also assisting with autopsies. The pathologist, as a board-certified physician, gives the final diagnosis, but the PA's work is integral in this process. And PAs are in high demand for a few reasons, including reducing costs, increasing efficacy, and decreased number of pathology residents, so it's also lucrative and well-paying.

Cool, huh? Maybe not to everyone - the idea of handling organs and tissues pieces probably sounds awful to most people, but throw me a pair of gloves and I'll touch anything. Seriously, I clean up after the dirtiest of animals volunteering at the local humane society. Never own a pet duck.
Anyways, I've always had an interest in the health sciences, likely due to my being raised by a nurse, my mom. Perhaps it was her dinner-time conversation topics that steeled my stomach for medical oddities. (If you know a nurse and have asked them how their day was over a meal, you know what I'm talking about.) My mom is probably also responsible for my zeal for education - over my lifetime she's gone from RN, to BSN, to NP (Nurse practitioner, a Master's degree), and currently she is finishing her final project to complete her Doctorate in nursing. I will also credit my dad, an engineer, for my knack for problem-solving - I have always enjoyed puzzles and problems, and for the last few years I have been working as an analyst. So it makes sense a PA would appeal to me, as a job in health care where finding the problem is the basic goal. And not just any problems, these are problems that can change a person's life, or death - is the mass benign? has all the tumor been removed? was the death natural or is foul play suspected?
Two other big pros - I don't have to treat (living) people, and I'll get to wear scrubs to work. :D

As I said, this is the most important question I have to keep in mind right now. At this moment I am planning on roughly 2 years of preparing to apply to programs, and upon acceptance, 2 years in the program. So with that long of a tunnel ahead of me, it is good to keep the end goal in mind, and keep walking forward.

And with that:
I'm going to keep going until I succeed — or die. -Harry Potter

Welcome, or Remembering to Turn on the Light

I've always wanted to write a blog; I'm a good writer and I enjoy it. But having come from the social media and marketing realm, I never thought I had a good enough idea for a blog that would be, ya know, "marketable" - keep eyes on the page and ad dollars in the pocket. So in a fitting mirror of my recent "to hell with it" quitting of my job in advertising, I'm saying "to hell with" writing a blog for anyone else. I'm writing this for me, as I go though this giant, scary, exciting change in my life. However, I do hope that this blog can be inspiring and maybe even motivational to others who may be like me three months ago, sitting in a cubicle hating not just their job, but their career prospects, their feeling of hopelessness, their lack of motivation to do something more, so you can get up and go to the edge of that cliff with so much fog you can't see what's at the bottom - and you jump. Because, as I know now, even though you can't see it now, there is a bottom and you will land on your feet.

Anyways, because I know you're all hanging by a thread, what is it that got me here? Well, I went to the University of Michigan with a vague idea of any real career aspirations, and spent four years going back and forth and all over the place - I considered journalism, psychiatry, medicine, environmental law, and probably a few other fleeting ideas - but eventually settled on a double major in communications and psychology, with a special focus on marketing and social psychology specifically. So I dutifully got an internship in marketing after graduation, and began my way on to a successful career in advertising. It was certainly fun and interesting at first, but I guess it was one of those things where the more I moved up and around and learned what it would be like to stay in the field, the more I wanted out. Now I can't say this for everyone in advertising, because I know there are people for whom it is very lucrative and they are truly happy, but for me, this was my experience: Firstly, the people - so. many. assholes. People with no regard for their employees, their inferiors or superiors, who only care about making themselves look good and advancing their own careers. And the unhappiness! If you're not an asshole, you're a stressed-out mess. I've never met so many people in one place so unhappy with their lives. The complaining especially - every time you go to lunch, go for drinks after work, or even are waiting for a meeting to begin - so much complaining. I would find myself doing the same thing - when I'd get home from work all I wanted to do was complain to my poor husband. Then he tells me about his job, which is also a recent career change, and he loves it - sure, he has small complaints here and there, but overall he enjoys going to work every day. I on the other hand can't keep track of how many times I cried on the drive home. When we'd hang out with his coworkers, they all talk about enjoying their jobs and if they complain about something they're problem solving and they're excited to meet tomorrow to figure it all out.
So, I can't say I had a light bulb moment, because it was more of a gradual brightening of said bulb - but I did eventually have the heart-to-heart with myself to ask, what the hell am I doing? Why I am still doing this? And two months ago, I made up my mind to quit. With no other plans concrete plans beyond that. I had been toying with the idea of going back to school for years, and was pretty set on going for nutrition to be a registered dietitian. So for the last two months I've been doing a combination of researching, soul-searching, and unapologetically enjoying doing nothing. Fast forward to now, yesterday was my first day of class, and I'm on my way to pursuing a career as a Pathologist's Assistant. It's radically different from where I began, but I truly believe it is a career I will enjoy. More on that for another blog.

So, there it is. I am glad to be able to share this journey with you, and I hope you enjoy it.

Until next time, a quote from my favorite series of literature:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore